Anyway, I know there are products in this world that will help a person control the wiliness of crazy acting gray hair, but I'm willing to bet you'd actually have to spend some time with these products to ensure their usefulness. I imagine it's more time than I spend making my normal acting hairs lay down in a semi-proper fashion every morning. Anything extra would rip a hole in the time/space continuum because I'd have to wake up earlier than I already do. This is not acceptable. The extra moments it would require to make me look less like Albert Einstein are moments I do not choose to waste in such a manner. I'd rather waste them sleeping. Unfortunately, my obvious laziness creates another problem entirely. My lack of motivation dictates that I am daily destined to be approached by all sorts of people who feel the desperate need to pluck said hairs from my head without prior permission and apparently without remorse either. What kind of world do I live in that people feel entitled to remove my own personal hair from my head, and in such a violent, painful manner? These people are my friends, my coworkers and my family and they all act like its normal behavior. They would argue that it is just uncontrollable, natural instinct to want to grab something so obviously out of place and make it right. Well, my natural instinct is to punch you right in the face after you rip out my hair, but I seem to be able to control THAT. Rogues.
All I can say is that Albert must have had no
friends. He certainly would have been bald.
