Ever smashed up a waiting room?

So I woke up this morning at 4:45 in order to get my mother to the outpatient surgery area of one of our local hospitals by 6:00 to have a "procedure". When we entered the waiting area we were greeted by an overly happy person. Now, let me tell you...Beej does not enjoy overly happy people at 5:50 AM. No she doesn't. And nobody... I say nobody, has any business being THAT happy, THAT early in the morning. Once the waiting room was good and crowded with sleepy, frustrated, waiting people, this overly happy person popped up with her big old toothy grin and reminded all the patients that they were to remove their jewelry and give any valuables to their accompanying family members. She did this in a very perky voice and then added that the men should hand their wallets over to their wives and if they didn't have a wife that any single woman in the room would be thrilled to hold it for them. Then she nearly fell over from hysterical laughter at her own, only mediocre, joke. Every person who walked in was greeted with "Hey baby!" "How are you doing, baby?"and sometimes it was accompanied by a hug. When people left, it was "Okay baby, take care!". She answered the phone "HEY!! Thanks for calling!! Okay!!!...every danged time. It only took me a few calls to realize that her callers were several people not 4 feet from her desk (but behind closed doors) and they were directing her to send in the next person. I think I would have just answered it..."who next?" or something less vibrant and obnoxious. As time passed, she repeated the spiel about removing the jewelry for all the newbies, but this time added a story about how once, here in the waiting room, a 66 year old woman asked her if her belly button ring had to be removed as well. She said she couldn't believe that a 66 year old woman had a belly button ring and then began asking several of the men in the waiting room what they would do if their wife came home with a "belly button" (which is what she called it for the remainder of her little entertainment of the waiting people moment). "Sir, what would YOU do if your wife came home with a BELLY BUTTON??!!" *hysterical laughter*



So while I'm sitting there, a news story comes on the TV about this place in San Diego called The Smash Shack where, for a small fee, you can go smash things when you're frustrated. Watching the news clip made me want to smash something, but all I had was a Styrofoam cup that once held some lukewarm hospital coffee. It was empty, so I spent the rest of my waiting time tearing it up and then decorating what was left with my fingernail. Yeah, so that's what I did with my morning. Beat that.